May 2007
Over the years the Lord has been trying to work this into my spirit. I say trying because my flesh so struggles against the spirit. Nevertheless, I can see the discipline and the fruit there of.
Being right: Oooh what a good feeling! Knowing you're right in an argument gives satisfaction; it builds up your ego and makes your adversary seem foolish! But take a closer look at what was just accomplished in the argument and how you went about to "prove" yourself? Did you tear someone else down? Did you embarrass or shame someone? Did you lose self-restraint and become full of rage? Did you break a relationship, or offend a brother? Did you turn a non-believer off, leaving them to wonder what this whole "Christian" thing is about? Did you harm your witness of Jesus for the sake of being "RIGHT?" Hey...well, at least you were right....right? Okay I know that I have done 100% of the above at one time or another. This is why I am still a work in progress and as Paul says, Romans 7:14-25 "For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16 But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. 17 So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20 But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
21 I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22 For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, 23 but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.
Oh how I can relate...the very thing I want to do I don't do and the thing I don't want to do, I do! But as you read that passage you also see that as Christians we are at war with our carnal nature and that we don't need to take on the identity of the sin nature, of course we will sin but as Christians it doesn't need to be what identifies us.
At any rate moving on:
1. What is self righteousness? The dictionary defines it as this:
self-right•eous (s lf r ch s)
adj.
1. Piously sure of one's own righteousness; moralistic.
2. Exhibiting pious self-assurance: self-righteous remarks
I Must point out here that it is a bit ironic and as Christians we are stereotyped as being self righteous, that term has been thrown around so much it’s almost as if it just has stuck but the TRUE definition as self righteous is “Piously sure of one's own righteousness; moralistic” Often times when we bring up the Bible they will accuse us of being self righteous. But really the Bible and the commands, and the directions and the instruction is the Lords righteousness; not what we established as righteous. Being self righteous then is really you deciding for yourself what is righteous and correct….isn’t this the very thing that keeps the unsaved from the Lord; the attitude of I don’t need the Bible or God or Jesus…I got this, I say abortion is right so therefore it must be, I say homosexual lifestyles are right, so they must be, I say euthanasia is fine, so it must be. I say lying on my taxes is ok because (insert excuse) so it must be. I say having sex before marriage and with multiple people is fine, so it must be. What then is this righteousness except for SELF?
Now let me be VERY CLEAR here, YES, YES and YES can Christians be self righteous but it’s the same acts/attitudes of self righteousness the world practices NOT what is falsely accused of lining up with the Word of God…which is true RIGHTEOUSNESS! I hope that can set some people free, maybe will allow you as a Christian to understand your identity a bit better?
2. So then how do we define righteousness? We don’t need to look too far; just at Webster’s dictionary:
: righ•teous
Pronunciation: \ˈrī-chəs\
Function: adjective
Date: 1530
1 : acting in accord with divine or moral law : free from guilt or sin
2 a : morally right or justifiable b : arising from an outraged sense of justice or morality
So even in a secular sense the word righteous/righteousness is lining up with divine or moral LAW.
Interesting that ones that are saved know this as being in right standing with God, and even if you’re not saved the Lord says this:
Romans 1:18-20
18For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness,
19because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them.
20For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.
So the unsaved are without excuse, WHY?
Romans 2:14-16
14For when Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law to themselves,
15in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them,
16on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus.
Basically God wrote HIS laws on the hearts of ALL people, so that even if you never heard the gospel there is a universal understanding and way to which all humans live. All people know its wrong to murder, to lie, to steal, to cheat etc. We call this our conscience, and its God; whether we acknowledge Him or not. When we go against our conscience we have accused ourselves; making us guilty. Nobody is born with the ideals that abortion is good and ok, it is something learned and compromised.
Okay I felt that lengthy explanation was necessary to build the foundation to understand right and righteousness. Back to it!
Too many times I have traded being right with being in right standing with my Lord. I have wanted it so bad I stepped out of the right standing and in the process lost my peace and joy; sure I was happy for a moment but really the aftermath wasn’t worth it, yet I traded it for a “feel good” moment, stroking my ego.
Now in NO way am I suggesting you cannot debate, reasonably argue, defend etc yourself, your loved ones, or your faith. On the contrary we are supposed to be ready to defend our faith:
1 Peter 3:15
but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence
That last part might be the key…gentleness and reverence. There are so many places in the Bible we can see as Christians we are to rid ourselves of the fleshly things of malice, anger, rage, pride, etc (Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:31) and be filled with the fruits of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23) which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. But far too often we throw these things out the window when an argument arises, even if we were right.
Case in point: (True and humbling story)
Several years ago my husband and I got into a fight. I honestly cannot remember what about but I know it started off as one of those dumb arguments that are ridiculous that turn into a snowball. Well in that argument I was right, really I was. I was correct on what I was saying but as the bickering turned into arguing and arguing turned into fighting and fighting turned into insulting and disrespecting I dug my feet in and was even more indignant and even surer of how right I was. So the smart man he was went downstairs; forcing me (haha) to rant and rave even louder so he could hear me down there. No response. Argh! I took a deep breath and decided to pray, I went on and on to the Lord, basically tattling on my hubby, telling Him how wrong he is and could he please tell Him, you know strike him (just kidding, but you get the picture). I wanted him to know how bad he hurt me, what horrible things he said how they damaged me and I wanted him to give a really good apology, to see the light in the error of his ways! So as I am praying the Lord begins to speak to my heart, went like this:
God: “Janette, Go downstairs and apologize.”
Me: (not believing He actually meant me apologize to him, I repented to God for maybe getting too mad (but really I had a reason, right?) “God forgive me for yelling at my husband.”
God: “Now go downstairs and apologize”
Me: (indignant) “He was the one that was wrong!!!” but as I sat there with no response I wanted to obey God and quite honestly knew that if I said I was sorry surely I would receive my well deserved groveling.
So I went downstairs and it went a little something like this:
Me: I am sorry for fighting with you.
Him: I DON’T forgive you!!!
Me: Are you kidding me??!! You’re the one that is wrong and you (insert verbal vomiting and rants and raving here)
Him: (with a very satisfied and cocky smile), “Yeah…I don’t forgive you”
I gave him burning with rage daggers and stormed back upstairs.
Me: “God, you see what he did??!! Well I did what You wanted, You just need to deal with him!”
God: “Janette, go downstairs and apologize.”
Me: “ Are you kidding me?! You saw him, he’s so wrong!
God: “ That is between him and I, what you have done is disrespected your husband, and sinned against him and I.”
Ouch, the conviction of the Holy Spirit flooded over me and there I realized. I then truly repented to God, humbly acknowledging my sin to Him and to my husband.
Back downstairs, this time the walk was a lot harder, a bit slower and humbling. Before I could even get to him, I heard a big exasperated sigh. I knew he didn’t want to even talk to me. That made it even worse.
Me: Dhyan, I am sorry. I am sorry for completely disrespecting you, dishonoring you. I am sorry and I love you, would you please forgive me?
Him: No
I understood, I left and just took a drive, I prayed for him, but this time from a different perspective and view. I prayed that he would be able to find forgiveness in his heart, that he would see the situation the way God saw it. Within minutes he called me up and apologized.
I learned a lot that day. I learned that even if I am right doesn’t necessarily mean I am righteous and that there is a way to deal with conflict and most certainly it is not a smart or wise trade-off; being right and losing or trading my righteousness was not worth it. I learned that the character of Jesus was the example of righteousness that I needed to conform to. At times Jesus didn’t defend Himself, even while being hurled false accusations, insults etc. But He also defended the scripture, showed righteous anger at the religious and legalistic leaders, He defended the weak, the outcast and hurt. He was bold and gentle, He was aggressive and passive. There are times to stay silent, times to speak up and in all those times we can remain in right standing with God. We can apply this to all areas of our lives; with our spouses, with believers and also non-believers. I am not saying be a doormat I am saying use wisdom and don’t trade your standing before God for simply winning an argument.
Ephesians 4:26 “BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,”
This is speaking of a righteous anger (pertaining to the things of God), not being angry because someone cut you in line or you’re jealous of someone getting the job you wanted. Please don’t confuse our fleshly anger with godly anger. Don’t trade being right for being in right standing with our Lord. If even now you are thinking of an instance you damaged relationships for the sake of being right, pray, repent, be in right standing with God and He may even lead you to restore yourself to someone.
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