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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

The Power of God- Word for 2018

Every year I spend time at the end of the year praying for a word, direction of what the Holy Spirit is up to. I know that God lives outside the realm of time and made time for us, so we can mark seasons and such. So the turning of the new year is significant for us, we make goals, look forward to change. There’s anticipation, a sense of newness.

As a Christian, I live in an understanding that we should walk with eternal eyes, not temporal, understanding that this life is but a blink in eternity. How I live my life here does indeed echo in eternity. 

As I was worshipping and praying on New Years Eve, I heard the words, “pray for my power”, so immediately the verse came to mind in Acts 1:8 “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” As I began to pray, what I thought in my mind was power to heal, power for miracles, power for anointing in speaking etc. what I heard come into my heart was instead, “Ask and receive My power. My power to love, My power to forgive, My power to overcome, My power to have fervency to devour My word, My power to be steadfast and pray. When this power is displayed in your life the power of those other things can freely flow.” 

We so often sing as Christians for the power of God to fall upon us. We discuss the power of God as an elusive mystery hard to grab hold of and walk in. We know and quote the verses but often our lives lack the evidence and the experiential action. We may compare our walks with others who we see walking in the “power of God”, and wish we had that. Or we might observe in other nations the miracles taking place. Yet we fail to see or comprehend the deep discipline that has been at work in their lives. We don’t see the tears, prayers, struggle and heartache as they have wrestled with God, we simply see and desire the anointing. We have all been given the power, through Jesus Christ, to love, to forgive, to let go of bitterness. Many Christians don’t want that power, they want the power to perform miracles and preach. Those are wonderful and we should desire that, but if we can’t walk in the power of Jesus in foundational things why are we going to be trusted with the latter? 

This year, right now, I urge you to get before the Lord. Ask Him to bare your heart to you and tell Him you accept His discipline. When the urging comes up to forgive...then forgive. If you are made aware of a hurt or an offense you have created, go to that person and be reconciled. The word of God says in Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Don’t allow pride or bitterness keep you away from the power of God being displayed in your life. Let us glorify the Lord by living in His power! 

I heard a very wise and respected brother in Christ, who has lived an extraordinary life, full of Gods power once say that the Lord told him, “Don’t take it personal.” How simple. How difficult. We can talk all the talk but God knows our hearts and if we are honest with ourselves we will allow Him to work in it. 

I have seen this theme being worked out over and over in my life for the last year and a half. But specifically the last 6 months I have felt this with an urgency to let go the things that hinder and block our focus of Jesus. I keep hearing “you do not have time to be entangled.” The Lord is moving quietly among His people, He will use those who submit to the discipline of the Refiner’s Fire. Be a light in these times, allow the deep quiet work of God to mend and heal your heart so that you will display His glory and power. 

Father, we desire, we ask for Your power to come bursting forth from within in our  lives. You have come to live in us and we have been given Your power. Forgive us, Lord, for trampling on it, for taking light the power to forgive, to love. Help us, Lord to have the power to be hungry for Your word, for Your holiness in our lives that we may be a people who walk in faithful steadfastness in this time. Lord, let us be filled with Your power and let us understand the brevity of time. Place on our hearts those things so deeply hidden, even to ourselves, that have hurt and offended us so that we may be released from the prison we have put ourselves in, that keeps us hurt, embittered, victims.  We ask for the power of humility to go to those we have hurt and be reconciled. Lord, I thank You for that the keys have already been given to us and we just need to use them. Let Your name be glorified, let us correctly represent You to our spouses, our children, our co-workers, our friends and to the lost. Be exalted in our homes, our churches and our lives, in Jesus name, amen. 

Monday, August 28, 2017

Flooding and the Warning to America

End of February 2011  (originally posted 2012, updated 8/2017)

I had another dream. It was pretty simple. I was running from the west to the east, I knew this because it was of some significance in the dream. As I was running I could see around me locally, there was destruction all around; school buses submerged, houses wrecked, cars that looked like a child toy's playing in mud from catastrophic flooding. They were submerged in the earth, mud flowing over them, tremendous wreckage. The ground was very unstable. It was awful as I continued to run frantically toward the east  the local picture then turned into more of a USA picture and I saw devastation everywhere. It was if I was running on top of a map of the USA. The ground I was running on (USA) was falling apart. It reminded me of movies when an ice piece keeps breaking and breaking and getting smaller and smaller and you have to hop to a wobbly piece to try and stay afloat and it just keeps breaking. It was breaking apart like that but instead of ice it was grassy land pieces. I kept running and was questioning in my mind what was happening, and that’s when I heard  "Destruction was coming from the east" and that "All of the foundations were cracked".

I kept running, trying to get my footing and I am running up the side of the devastation to an embankment. As I  reach to the top and can see over the embankment I see a parallel path. It was sturdy, strong and organized, made of bricks. It was running parallel with the American land that was falling apart. This was not part of the USA, but was running parallel to it.  I got on in it and turned from running east to now running toward the west. I had the sense I was running frantically to warn the "west", the USA. At this point I am running on these very strong bricks, very organized and seeing the parallel destruction of the USA as I am running I look down and am running as fast as I can, I notice the bricks have words on them. I keep running, and I am passing the words. They say "CHINA",  I keep running and I see "IRAN". I keep running and then I awake. The feeling when I awoke was such impending doom that I stayed awake for hours,  shaken with the severity and devastation. I prayed and I feel like the simple interpretation is obvious; America is falling apart and crumbling at the same time that other countries (China and Iran) are unified and growing stronger and that the destruction of the USA was a source coming from the EAST. There were more words on that long brick path but I awoke to only seeing those 2 country names. The bricks were not set like we see on houses in staggered fashion. Instead these bricks were in straight lines; up, down, and across. This gave me the feeling of unity and resembled how soldiers are lined up in lines; very organized and disciplined.

It is easy to see now the stronger and recent unification of these countries as well as very recent disruptions in the USA. But at the time of the dream things weren't this tense. I have kept these largely to myself but now am feeling the urgency to speak about them. Judge for yourselves. In a time of great deception in the church with self proclaimed apostles and prophets all relating their dreams one to another I have almost tried to forget about these dreams. But as I have watched and am watching them unfold I cannot stay silent any longer.


Update 8/28/2017: I wrote this down immediately after I had this dream in early 2011 and then"publicly"  shared it a year after I had this dream, end of 2012. I have watched as storms and floods have been widespread across our nation over the years, increasing in frequency. I have questioned and waited for a very specific picture that has been branded in my mind from the dream. If I see that then I know this is the sign that impending judgment is near. As far as the judgement coming from the "east" I'm not sure exactly what that means but we have witnessed the prophetic words of "all our foundations are cracked"  come to pass. The condition of America now is a fulfillment of a word the Holy Spirit spoke to me in 2001. He said, "America will cease to exist has she always has." At the time I thought we were facing impending war. But over time I have seen America implode and bring in Islam (from the "east"), we are no longer the America that any of us grew up in. I have mourned the death of America. I am not sure that is what that meant or if there will be physical destruction coming from the east, as in China, unified with other nations.

I can say I know a physical flood would be a warning sign, and I feel compelled to warn as that was my duty in the dream. I cannot say for certain that this current historical, catastrophic flood  we see because of Hurricane Harvey is indeed the one I saw in my dream but I can say for certain other parts of this dream have already come to pass.

The warning is this: America is under judgement and any time we have to prepare spiritually needs to be taken extremely serious. If The Holy Spirit also leads to physically prepare do so. Turn your hearts back to God. Practice hearing Him. Where He is putting his finger on an area of your heart respond quickly. Forgive quickly and seek after Him with your whole heart. Guard your heart from becoming cold. Love God and love your neighbor. Be aware of the time you are living in.

Here is a link to the other prophetic dreams  I believe God has given me and some have already come to pass.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Part 1 of Taking Your Positon: The Art of Sinning

Monday, January 14, 2013


Take Your Position (Part 1)
The Art of Sinning

My (at the time) 4 year old daughter received a beautiful Bible for Christmas. I had promised her when she began reading we would get her a “big girl” Bible. She was so thrilled to open her purple “leather” Bible that had her named engraved in silvery letter on front. Now we are committed to help the little ones "hide the Word in their hearts..."
I was reading to her Genesis Chapter 4 and it was discussing the offerings both Cain and Abel brought, and the Lord’s response to them. Genesis 4:6-7 says, “6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why are you looking so sad? 7 Do what is right. Then you will be accepted. If you don’t do what is right, sin is waiting at your door to grab you. It longs to have you. But you must rule over it.”
Such a simple and straightforward way the Lord spoke to Cain. He addressed Cain’s anger, his sadness and told him how to be accepted and told him also a warning of what would happen if he continued to allow his burning anger, jealousy etc to reign. We are not under the old covenant of law because Jesus, The Lamb of God offered Himself. Praise God! But sin is still something we must overcome.
Romans Chapter 6 goes into wonderful detail about being slave to sin or a slave to righteousness that leads to holiness. A meaty chunk in Romans 6 says this, “12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, 13and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. 14For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace. 15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be! 16 Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, 18 and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. 19 I am speaking in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, resulting in further lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification.  20 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death.
I want to focus in on verse 17 But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed. The apostles taught, people received and the Spirit transformed. I have heard some wonderful teaching on having something legally and having something experientially. Those who confess Jesus is Lord, believing in Him, His work at the cross, and His death and resurrection, have a legal standing before the Lord. They no more belong to the devil and they inherit eternal life. There are promises in the Lord that are ours legally, but have we taken hold of them experientially, by obedience?

Legally- adj. Of, relating to, or concerned with law. Experientially- adj. Relating to or derived from experience.
In short to walk experientially is to walk in the promises, to experience the promises. Our legal standing will never be taken from us. There was a legal agreement made between you and God because of our mediator Jesus’s blood signed our covenant; our names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life; it is our legal position. However, it is possible to never take hold of promises of the Lord because of our walks. This is often times a confusion point for grace versus works. We are saved by grace alone; there is NOTHING we can do to earn it. But there is now a journey for us as Christians. Attaining a life that the Bible speaks of is something we walk. Where is our experiential position in the Lord? How does this echo in eternity?
We must know and understand we live in a spiritual world, with a very real and spiritual enemy. Satan hates us; he knows he can’t have your salvation but what he then goes after is your inheritance of promises; both in this life and for eternity. If he can trap you, paralyze you, blind you with anger, bitterness, lust, jealousy, pride, addictions etc then he knows you will not live a fruitful life in the Lord while on this earth. You will have minimal impact in the Kingdom, and he knows when you come before the Judgment Seat of Christ (not the White Throne Judgment) when we are rewarded according to your works while on the earth that we will fall short of what we could have had.
2 Corinthians 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.
Matthew 16:27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.
Practicing sin is very different than sinning. As we walk in the Lord, we WILL sin. We will lose our tempers, we will have bad thoughts, we may be jealous, manipulate others, victimizing ourselves, struggle with a hidden or secret sin. But if our response when we do sin is acknowledging it as sin and asking the Lord for forgiveness as changing our choices, even if we slip several times God sees our heart attitudes and works with us in it; disciplining us and refining us and we will have areas of sin we have truly overcome experientially!
It’s so clear to understand the natural effect of practicing something; eating right, exercising, studying, a sport, a hobby etc. We all know the saying, “practice makes perfect”. Now let’s apply that to sin.
Practicing something means you aim to get better at it. The practicing of sin can be the honing in of skills like cutting people with your tongue, manipulating others to get your way, lying, cheating, boasting, even fear by not taking your thoughts captive and making them subject to Christ. But it’s never dealing with the sin; it is instead making it stronger by practicing it., making excuses for it, blaming others for it; whatever the tactic it's never dealt head on with.  Just as a muscle gets bigger and stronger so will what you practice. If you practice righteousness, you will overcome. If you practice sin, it will overtake and imbalance your life and you will find yourself not living a victorious life of the promises of God, but instead a life of frustration, failure, broken relationships and repeating cycles.
As God continues to illuminate those areas, point His finger on something  what do we do with it? We can see our own cycles by the same "problem" but with new people or new circumstances. Do we cry and complain to God how hard it is, how He doesn’t understand? Bargaining with Him; if He would give us “so and so” we would then do “such and such”? Or do we yield and even if it hurts, is difficult or we don’t understand, we still obey?
That is a life of overcoming! The rewards are not only for this lifetime. They echo in eternity. I will discuss that more in the next article but I want to encourage today the life on this earth. We as Christians are an example whether we want to be or not, or think we are or not. We are examples of who God is, we are to be His lights for others, we are to point to Him. Today if you would get before the Lord in a time of silence would you examine your hearts and allow God to speak to you?
To glorify God means to correctly represent Him to the world. We will all continue to sin and fall but to humble ourselves and confess our sin and allow change in our hearts we will glorify God. It’s a continuing journey. Are you walking forward or are you standing in opposition to God, refusing to yield your life? Simply stating the promises of God will not produce the fruit, but the walking in obedience. Simply stating your "legal" stance is not enough, faith without works is dead. Walk it out experientially. Overcome.
Lord, we need you. We thank You for the work that You have already done at the cross so that we can walk in the promises. Help us today Lord to be broken before you, if there is any area in our lives of “practicing sin”, please reveal it to us. Lord we desire to correctly represent You to this world and to others in the Body of Christ. Give us an understanding of overcoming and the promises we can have in this life and in eternity. In Jesus name, Amen.

Friday, March 18, 2016


June 25, 2015

Tornado Category F5. I am always so impacted by families searching through the debris after such a disastrous storm, trying to find something recognizable and salvaged in the splinters that were once their homes and lives; their normal. I always think of daunting the task would be. Where do they even start? Will it ever be cleaned up? Will this place they once called home be home again, with backyard picnics, Christmas mornings and family dinners. As they rummage through piles they might find a family heirloom, maybe just a picture they had, a stuffed animal, but its something. They hold it dearly as a treasure.

This week I have been praying and I feel the Lord gave me this picture. In seasons of our lives we have storms, crazy storms that we all learn to weather. But every once in awhile we are caught off guard by the category F5. It can tear through our lives and devastate in such a way that there are causalities and hopelessness. In the midst of the storm the focus and thoughts are only basic survival. But when the storm subsides the focus turns to the aftermath; the cleanup and rebuilding. Where do you begin to pick up the pieces and rebuild?

My heart was heavy as I thought about this and I imagine so many F5s that have wreaked complete havoc on marriages, relationships, business ventures that seem to have ended in broken dreams and complete loss. But as I saw this image in my mind playing out while praying, I saw the beauty in searching and finding the treasure amongst all the broken debris. Maybe the little treasure is a memory of why you fell in love with the person you now seem to not be able to stand. Maybe the treasure is a promise of God you have for a child you have no earthly reason to believe will turn around, maybe its the treasure of a dream and talent you had, a passion. Maybe it's the strength for yourself to still breath, still smile after a loss of a loved one
, or your child's smile if they have lost. Even if all has seemingly been lost, find and search out the treasures in the wreckage. Allow God the time to heal. Yes the cleanup requires work and is exhausting and costly; its timely and requires a different perseverance than what was happening in the midst of the storm. It has to move from basic survival mentality to restoration mentality.

If you have been with a F5 that has devastated, look for the treasures in the mess, remember "why", and roll your sleeves up to be ready to rebuild, putting God in the center to guide, bring peace and comfort. He will often times bring those "clean-up volunteers" alongside of us to shoulder the pain, the work, the mess. I thank God for those helpers who have shouldered with me; in prayer, service, laughs and tears.

Friday, March 4, 2016


December 18, 2011
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. Over the years I have learned that there is something special to this as it is a time to be quiet before the Lord. I have purposed my sleepless nights won’t be in vain, so instead I pray, read my Bible, worship until I can fall back asleep. When I am awake at night by myself I always remember Psalm 134:

 1Praise the Lord, all you servants of the Lord
who minister by night in the house of the Lord.
2Lift up your hands in the sanctuary
and praise the Lord.
3May the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth,
bless you from Zion

I am reminded that I can serve as a minister even in the night, unto the Lord. I have found myself very often woken and praying in the Spirit or in intercession for another. I will lift my hands in the middle of the night and praise my Lord. It’s in these times I hear more clearly from the Lord.

My prayer times often goes like this: Praise and wonderment about His good works, pleading with Him to allow me to hear Him, confessing my sins and even the things I am not sure of, praising Him.  I ask Him to make in me a clean heart and to expose my own motives to me, to show me my errors. I pray for others as they are laid upon my heart. I ask for correction for myself, I ask for discipline. For over the years I haven’t just learned to KNOW His truths but to LOVE them…even the hard ones. I realize it does me no good to pretend to myself or become stiff-necked. It’s far easier to just accept correction.

So last night I am asking, “Lord what are you doing w/me?” I then see a jagged rock, a little jagged rock. It has sharp edges. I ask the Lord, kind of sad with what I am seeing…”Is this me Lord?” Then I see that same rock in a river with flowing waters. As I watch I see this jagged rock flowing with the river, bumping and knocking into other jagged rocks. As time goes on and this rock keeps flowing with the river, the rock begins to take on a different form. Its sharp edges get knocked off, it becomes smoother and round.

I was impressed with the understanding that this rock needed two things for it to change. One, it had to have the flow of the water, and two it had to have the other rocks crashing into it, bumping it around for the rock to change.

Then my eye caught the sight of  other rocks; they weren’t getting crashed into or bumped around or flowing in the river. These rocks had settled into a pool of nonliving water, like a bayou or swamp. A bayou branches off the main river and it is boggy and stagnant, with such little flowing water that it seems to be standing still. The rocks in that bayou were comfortable but coated with mossy slime. The bayou rocks were not in danger of crashing into others, they weren’t being displaced. I asked the Lord about this. I understood that in our Christian walk we are being transformed more and more into the image of Christ. The flow of the Spirit is a never ending flow. But being in that flow is painful, it’s messy, its unsure at times. But that is the way the jagged edges are taken off the rock. It must be in the flow and it must be bumping into other rocks. This is how God chooses to change us.

But the rocks in the swampy waters were nice and settled. They had gone through enough tumbling in river they had once been flowing in. But somewhere along the flow they got off and settled into comfort. They know what they know... what they know…they have settled that. And although once flowing in the fresh waters they no longer seek the ongoing flowing truths of the Lord (I am not talking about initial salvation here, for in that we are to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling…to be sure we know). They won’t budge. Perhaps they believe they know all they need to as if they have arrived at the complete understanding of the Gospel. Or maybe they think since they don’t understand it, it must not be God. These slimy rocks miss out of the fresh word of the Lord. They miss out on the move of the Lord because they don’t recognize the flow of the Spirit. They speak of the moves of the Lord in past tense and wish for the good ole days.

I have heard time and time again, these same rocks speak that God is going to do a “new thing”. Yet they themselves never receive it because they judge that the new thing as an “added” thing because it doesn’t fit into their dusty old teachings, rather than understand the “new” thing is an opening of the eyes of the plan of the Lord, that was established from the beginning of His time, that we were once blind to. For it has its appointed time. It’s not the adding to scripture but the unveiling of it.

There were always forerunners for these moves. They were “out of season”. In hindsight we can look back and note moves of the Lord through Martin Luther, the Pentecostal movement, the charismatic moves. But in their time the bayou rocks spoke against it. The rocks were used still in the place they settled. They spoke the truths of the Lord. God used their gifts and allowed them to stay where they wanted. But the sad thing is for as much as they recite with their mouths the words of Philippians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Their hearts are far from that.

There is a new move of God on the horizon; there is always more to learn, to hear what the Spirit is saying. We have a choice. We can get into the river, knowing full well we are not going to control the flow of the river and also knowing that we are going to be shaped by the smoothing effects of the bumping and crunching of others. God knowing the process is painful yet asking us to trust Him. Or we can settle into our little bayou; feeling confident of not “getting hurt”, preaching the truths of the Lord, He revealed in the time we once were in the flow. His truths are absolute. But in that place of security comes the risk of missing out on the fresh water flow.

I thanked the Lord for putting me in the river, for showing me He is refining me. I thank the Lord He asks me to let Him be in control, knowing that I am in unfamiliar territory and am going to get bumped around. However, as this happens, as long as I don’t decide I have had enough or think I have arrived and don’t get off in the stagnant water of the bayou, I can trust that I will have the eyes to see and the ears to hear what the Spirit is saying. I thank the Lord for carrying me in that river and for showing me that He cares about this little jagged rock.

Brothers and sisters if this speaks to your heart, be encouraged to know the Lord is all about refining you. It’s not a clean cut formation; rather it takes time and the experiences in this life that give room for correct response and most importantly the flow of the river. It’s the laying down of control and the idea of jumping into a comfortable little bayou; out of the raging waters of the river. Sometimes those waters are more calm, but then there are times that they are like flood waters. Or if you feel the Spirit is prompting you and telling you to come back into the flow of the Spirit, don’t delay. That bayou may have been “safe” and with a comfortable certainty but dear friends it’s a settling. The Lord is calling you out today. That is His invitation. Jump in, don’t simply put your feet in, or get in waist high. Get in and submerge yourself fully. I pray this blesses.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

The Christian Walk of Fear and of Faith

Happy Birthday to my dear youngest son, Benjamin Eli; "the son of my right hand"; a promise and one of the greatest tests of my faith in trusting in matter what.

(Benjamin's adventures)

 The Bible says in  Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

 After a very painful, back labor filled, 22 hour homebirth of my daughter Annabella, who weighed in at 10lbs I was nervous to go it again 17 months later, without being in a hospital with pain meds. Mid-way in my pregnancy I felt the Holy Spirit direct me to do just that and yet came with this instruction a very somber feeling of something bad going to happen. I sought the Lord daily for comfort, a word, a reassurance. I didn't get any of that. Just a simple instruction that I was to have this baby at home and each time the same daunting feeling swept over me. We had not really settled on a name but what was in my heart was Benjamin Elijah, named after the Bible heroes of faith. Yet, I wouldn't dare tell anyone this or even allow myself to name him that because Benjamin's mother Rachel had died during child birth and with the impending doom feeling I had it was like I was speaking a self-fulfilling prophecy. So we called him Harlen West while I was pregnant :-)
(one month before he was born was already 8lbs)

 The weeks carried on and with it the secret I held in my heart was something bad would happen. Why, Lord? Why are You asking me to have this child at home when something is going to occur? Why are you asking me to put my child's life or my life on the line when I am the mother of 4 other children that need their mommy? I pleaded and asked for answers, a promise, but none was given. A few months before delivery I began writing "good-bye" letters to my other children, husband and family. They were written with tears pouring out of my eyes, my heart wrenched. I knew I would not disobey matter what, and that in my mind meant possibly to death. He wasn't answering my "whys", no promise of good outcome, but the simple command to have this baby at home. One night as I was writing the Holy Spirit very loudly said, "stop writing those." I tried to argue and explain how cruel it would be to leave my family with no words. But the simple answer was "no".

 As I cried out that night I was reminded of several things

1.) God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are high above.   (Isaiah 55:8)

2.) It is impossible to please God without faith. (Hebrews 6:11)

3.) 2 times in the Bible did God miraculously part the waters for the children of Israel to go through. The first was with the Red Sea. Pharaoh and his army was after them and Moses instructed to lift his staff. The waters parted! They walked through on dry ground. They had no where else to go, they were afraid and cried to Moses and God delivered them and took care of their enemy, when they saw this they "feared the Lord and put their trust in Him and Moses, His servant. " The second time was much different. They had been through testing, trials, discipline, many miracles and after 40 years finally going to enter the Promised Land. But this time they were given instructions. The ark of the covenant, carried by the priests were to go through the camp and go before them. A measure of 2000 cubits was to divide them from the Ark. This time no Moses, no raising of the staff and going performing a miracle BEFORE they had to act in faith. No, this time the priests had to put their feet into the raging waters of the overflowing waters while carrying the ark. It was AFTER this act that God parted the waters and dry land appeared, as the priests stood in the midst of the Jordan they all passed through in safety.

 As we grow in our walk and ask God to use us, to be glorified in our lives our walks of faith and acts of obedience according to faith should grow too. So that night I felt assured that no matter what, God is the King of kings, the Lord of lords, that He had a plan for my life and if that was to die in obedience than so be it. I had peace that surpassed all understanding and that didn't mean I lacked fear, it just meant that despite the circumstances I trusted in God.  I settled it that night. I still didn't have my answers as to what was going to happen, He wasn't parting the Red sea for me, but instead I was having to dip my feet in the Jordan River, but HE would go before me. As we walk closer to the Lord He stretches our faith, He may remove the awareness of His presence, stop giving us abundant confirmations around every corner. He may not "close the door" we are forcing open and instead allow us to flounder and struggle. What will we do? God allows us to see our response to Him. He allows us to see our faith. I still stole glances and gave lots of kisses and spent special time and made sure my family knew I loved them. I laughed and cuddled and prayed.

 My due date came and went, now realizing this baby was HUGE. So huge my nerves were compressed and my leg would go out. I was in pain, I was having labor that would last days and then suddenly stop. I was exhausted and all the while I had this little baby that never...I mean ever...stopped moving and flipping. Going breech even up to a week before he was born. One morning I awoke early to feel different. Today was going to be the day. I woke Dhyan up early to go steal away and have breakfast with me and Annabella. I ate breakfast fully in labor without telling Dhyan, until I got to the point where the contractions were taking my breath away and I couldn't talk anymore. I finally told him, "Ok I am in labor".

(Due date, 40 baby)

 On the way home the rain was falling gently, it was a "cooler" morning. Starting to get excited we called the midwife and she was already at another birth! That wasn't suppose to happen. I didn't even care, I would have this baby no matter what.

 Fast forward through all the laboring details, my wonderful sister in law, who is a doula was attending to me, as well as my husband. The midwife came just in time for pushing; it was time for delivery. Baby came out textbook, his head was faced down and perfect....then he flipped. He completely turned while his head was delivered to a complete posterior position. I could not deliver him. I pushed, I was pulled out of the water. The clock was ticking as the entire mood of the room changed. This was serious. Double shoulder dystocia. I yelled to everyone to start praying. The pain was immeasurable as I felt like my back was breaking. My midwife did so much of her training in Belize with high risk pregnancy and no doctors. In her training she had come across dystocia and began doing the "regularly taught" methods, but her mentor stopped her and told her that doesn't help and can cause damage. She showed her how to safely deliver the shoulders by folding the baby like a taco and pulling out. I liken that pain to a medieval torture chamber, getting pulled apart or something quite dramatic! Just under 5 minutes had passed with the baby a lack of oxygen. His cord was wrapped around his neck and had been compressed in the birth canal. He was purple. He didn't cry but as he was laid on my chest I knew everything was ok. Everyone else wasn't so sure, but I knew God's peace. He finally curled his little lower lip down and cried. It was the most precious, beautiful cry ever.

 10 pound 8 ounces, 22 1/2 inches long! Let me say that again, 10 and half pounds of almost 2 feet long baby!! He was the size of a toddler (well practically)! His birth was a miracle. It was especially a miracle because he suffered no nerve damage. In cases like this in a hospital the outcome is usually very different. It is the fear of doctors and midwives, its a medical emergency. Often times involves resuscitation, NICU stay, episiotomy, broken clavicles on baby, nerve damage, blood loss for mom, and even death.


 The drama was over and baby was ok. NOW the enemy of my soul was on overtime. Baby was not named Harlen but I couldn't bring myself to name him yet. "Benjamin" brought with it fear of me dying. The baby was ok but I was pretty weak, lost blood, in pain and felt "off". Still I was silent. I would wake up at night and my heart was beating so slowly which scared me because I have a resting heart rate of 80, it was instead 40. I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband as I wasn't emotionally prepared to explain to him the last few months of my faith walk. On the 3rd day the midwife came to check me and baby out again and told me, "Okay I have to send the paperwork in...we need a name." My husband and I looked at each other and I said, "Benjamin Eli Hatton". I wrote it down and fell asleep for a nap.

 I woke from my nap trembling. I was shaking so hard I was moving the bed. I felt so sick and feverish. I thought to myself I have mastitis. I crawled out of bed and left to the urgent care to get antibiotics. I went alone since the "swine flu" was going around and I didn't want the baby to exposed. The drive felt forever as I was so sick, I check in and they did my vitals. They were alarming. My resting heart rate was 160, my blood pressure was very low, I had a fever and couldn't stop shaking. Even in my heart I knew it was mastitis but in my silent time in the waiting room...often times I see those the "waiting room of life", I had time to think the "what ifs".

 What if I die now. I did name him Ben. The enemy was on overtime. "You're going to die, you see." As I am given an emergency blanket the doctor comes in and says, "We are arranging transport by ambulance to the know, because back in the day women would die like this, having babies at home...then leaves the room." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? My sister appears from nowhere (she had heard I was down there by myself). I saw her and began to cry. We prayed and I was transported. Funny a man I used to work with in the ER was the paramedic and was very comforting. I told the docs I what I thought and eventually it was ruled to be mastitis.

(one week old next to his friend who was born 2 days after him)

 The battle against fear didn't end there though. It clung itself to me for years like a dark cloak that smothered me. Normal circumstances of regular sicknesses and bumps/bruises were anxiety inducing. Benjamin seemed to find himself in situations NONE of my other children ever had.  At 6 weeks old he began projectile vomiting daily...every single day until he was 8 months old, had to Xray and see why his chest was sunken in. At 8 weeks old he got the dreaded swine flu; so so sick. By the time he was 2 he had broken his arm, been electrocuted with an exit burn right under his heart, got stuck in a shopping cart and had to be cut out, near drowned in swim lesson, RSV, terrible bronchitis and croup were part of any simple cold. By the time he was 3 he was climbing and flipping and everywhere and fell on his head and cracked a tooth that needed a cap. It seemed if it could happen, it would happen with him. The fear in simply Ben existing and all the "what ifs" of impending injuries and illnesses were wrought with strangling fear. I would like to say God miraculously delivered me overnight and I don't struggle. But that's not how God chose to do that. Instead He has walked with me in the valley of shadow of death, holding me, refocusing me, teaching me to battle. I have not completely overcome but I can say I am an overcomer. Its not come through God parting the red sea but instead making me dip my feet in the raging waters. Fear does not control me.

(Ben found a piece of pipe and wanted to give it to his older sister as a ring)

 Happy Birthday to the sweetest, most grateful, kindhearted, giving boy I know. Thank you for being a warrior who fights for and enjoys life to the fullest. Thanks be to God who has written our stories and gives us opportunity to walk in faith.

(my warrior)

Thursday, January 1, 2015

"Don't be Chicken" January 1, 2015

January 1, 2015
2010-2014 have been very trying years in so many ways. Of course all years are filled with the good, the bad and the ugly, but if it weren't for the peace of God amongst the trials and “valleys of death”, I would lose hope. Toward the end of this year the Holy Spirit began heavily reminding me to be like an eagle and not a chicken. Chickens are earthbound, scratching and pecking always looking at the ground; not able to fly, their only perspective is from the ground.  They follow each other without even looking where the first one running is going, they just follow the commotion. When a storm comes they naturally run for cover in a confused frenzy.  Eagles, on the other hand, are heavenly bound and soar high. They see far beyond what is in front of them. They are usually solitary birds (yet can recognize his own, another eagle, soaring up to 50 miles away) and don’t follow any “flock” waiting for other birds to direct them. The same storm that leaves a chicken running for cover is used to the advantage of the eagle. They use the strong winds to lift them even higher, sometimes even above the low-lying storm clouds. As I watch my beloved chickens pecking at the ground I realize how much time they spend looking down, pecking around in a confined backyard. I don’t want to be a chicken. I know the things the Holy Spirit has revealed to me require that I have eagle eyes and to not focus in on my earthbound problems; seeing in the spiritual instead of natural, being eternal minded instead temporal. Instead I pray to be an eagle, not confined to seeing what is simply in front of, not hiding when the storm comes, but rather soaring in the storm. 

That is easier said than done. As the storms come in and rock my world and cause all sorts of doubt, emotions and the enemy seems to be taking territory it is hard to stand in that battle without running to retreat; crippled in fear. So as I go into another year of spiritual battle I can look and see the training. The difficulties, trials and flat out attacks that were meant by the enemy to crush, paralyze, steal, kill and destroy instead become the strength training tools. I  become more and more comfortable with my weapon and armor. I become wiser to how the enemy fights; his plans and schemes, I become more aware that I am no longer a soldier in boot camp training but rather a soldier who has done a few tours. I know what spiritual war looks like, I know to a fuller understanding now the prophetic word given to me decades ago from of having a forehead of flint (Ezekiel); a face set like flint (Isaiah). As I continually remind myself of what command the Lord has given, I am in a constant fight with myself to be spirit-led instead of leading myself from a place of emotion, seen circumstances or outcomes I expected to be different. A soldier of Christ therefore wars from the heavenly realm, because he/she has spiritual vision. Often times this sort of life is misunderstood, certainly by the world, but also by many of their brothers and sisters in Christ. This is the natural and narrowing walk as we draw closer and closer to Him.

2 Timothy 2:3 You therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 4 No man that wars entangles himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who has chosen him to be a soldier.

There are many pictures and examples of these people in the Bible. They are known as the “remnant, overcomers, the 100 fold, Zion, the Man-child, Sons of Zadok, Holy of holies company,  first-fruits, Gideon’s 300, Elijah company, “those that come out of her”, etc. Each example is a Bible teaching in itself and foreshadows the small and faithful, uncompromising from each generation. These aren't super saints, self proclaimed "elitists", or big name preachers. These are common people, from all walks of life who simply love the Lord with all their heart, soul and mind. They hear the Lord's voice and respond.

The other picture the Holy Spirit has given me continually since 2008 is of Places of Refuge and Lighthouses. That, in this time, the Lord is making these simultaneously. As His hand of favor, protection and blessing is being lifted and judgment begins that He has a remnant that He will use as places of refuge or Lighthouses. I looked into the history of lighthouses and found two very compelling things that from a secular wording stood out as spiritually highlighted.  Lighthouses serve two purposes: they warn from danger and they bring into safety. Their light and their siren warn of impending danger. 

“They serve to warn the sailor of dangerous reefs beneath the sea or perilous rocky coasts on land, and to guide ships into a safe harbor or back out to sea. So the message of the lighthouse might be – STAY AWAY, DANGER, BEWARE, or COME THIS WAY. Every lighthouse tells the mariner, "This is exactly where you are"….Fog bells were used as well as steam whistles and reed trumpets and sirens. The sounds they gave out were generally low pitched and very mournful - almost like a wail.” (

I cannot help but hear the prophetic voice in the nature of the lighthouse. The mournful cry of impending danger has been heard throughout the land; the alarm has been going off and some are awakened to hear it, others are hitting the snooze button and sleeping in or ignoring the alarm.

I see 2015 as a continual progression of God’s warnings to a sleeping church and to a nation who has turned her back on God in an ever-increasing fast track that is exponentially propelling headlong into judgment. And yet in God’s mercy, grace and love He has always had a remnant. I pray this year those who are slumbering, or have accepted compromise, living as carnal Christians will hear the alarms and will turn back to God. Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand.

Malachi 3:1 "I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," says the LORD Almighty.

Luke 1:7 And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous--to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."

Matthew 11:13 “For all the prophets and the Law prophesied until John.  14 “And if you are willing to accept it, John himself is Elijah who was to come.  15 “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

Malachi 4:5 Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.  And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”

The spirit of prophet type, Elijah, will once again come before the Day of the Lord, for the same purpose that John the Baptist served. What an "odd, intense, fanatic" of a man he was, coming out of the wilderness, wearing camel hair clothes, eating locust and honey. He would not compromise the Word or the calling, he pointed to Jesus constantly, without self-glorification and his call was a call to repentance without mincing words. He was an alarm. He was a lighthouse pointing to THE LIGHT.

John 1:6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe. 8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.

If there is a yearning in your heart as you read this, I pray you will allow God to move you to a place of truth. Truth in these times, in your calling and truth in allowing Him to place that uncomfortable finger on those places in your heart that He is calling you out of compromise, to live in HIS light and to become a vessel of His light shining through you in these darkening times. I pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ around the globe that may feel like lonesome eagles. I pray for your strength, your courage and perseverance, and thank God for where He has placed you to be an example. I thank God for strategically placing Lighthouses in this world, nation, communities.